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8 ways we can focus on ourselves

If you’re someone who pays a little too much attention to things outside your own life, you might already be looking for ways to pay attention to yourself. Or, at least realize it’s important to do so.

In that case, you might find some of these suggestions helpful.

  1. Designate time for yourself

Instead of hammering out work emails at home or taking precious free time to facilitate the desires of loved ones, it’s good to take some free time for yourself. Time to just be.

A direct way to relax is to make specific time available in your calendar for free time. For example, take designated time to take a bath, meditate, go out for dinner with a friend or to go shopping.

2. Start journaling

Journaling in varying forms can be a great practice for self-identification and self-care. Through continual journaling, you can discover your inner voice that may otherwise go unheard in your day-to-day living.

This can help you to discover what it is you really want, and separate it from the needs of external people and factors.

Furthermore, journals can be a great place to practice gratitude and affirmations, which may help build confidence and self-esteem.

3. Look into psychotherapy and counselling

Possibly one of the greatest ways to focus on ourselves is with professional assistance. A counselor or psychotherapist is trained to help us with ourselves. Therapy can really help us to focus on ourselves more and less on others.

4. Set boundaries and say no

In order to work on yourself, especially if you’re busy or have a tendency to put others first, you must practice assertiveness. Some ways to do this are:

  • Saying no sometimes instead of yes.

  • Allowing specific circumstances in which you will do something for others, and determining circumstances in which won’t.

  • Turning your phone off if necessary, and pouring some of that time and effort back into yourself.

5. Actively do things for you

Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean sitting around disregarding everything else.

But it’s important to indulge in our passions and interests, to take ourselves out and engage in activities that inspire and satisfy our innermost needs. This might be as simple as going to the cinema to see that film you’re interested in. Or as big as taking that volunteering opportunity in Costa Rica that’s always called to you.

6.Practice checking in with yourself

In order to discover what you want, you need to actually listen to yourself. Instead of automatically saying yes to something, take a moment to reflect. If you don’t want to do it or would rather do something else, listen to that feeling.

Meditation, journaling and mindfulness can certainly help build this practice. Tuning into our true feelings more often can be hard, but it’s difficult to overstate its value.

7. Avoid idleness and false self-care

The object of this article is to promote a focus on one’s self, but it would be a mistake to confuse this with self-obsession or idleness. These things don’t help you focus on yourself in a productive way. They’re simply more ways of ignoring the inner needs of our emotional selves.

To improve wellbeing, we must find a balance, and focus on things that truly bring us more joy and contentment. Passions, hobbies, creativity, exercise and even socializing and helping others (though on our terms) are all great ways to truly focus on ourselves in an important and positive way.

8. Find the right balance of self-care

Instead of bending over backwards for others every day, balance and streamline your life by focusing on yourself more often. Focusing on ourselves doesn’t mean working ourselves to death with things we should do, nor does it mean lazing around and ruminating. It means finding the balance of work, play, self-fulfillment and self-care.


Published on October 19, 2020, last updated on October 19, 2020

Written by Henry

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